Author Archives: Unholy Twerp

Hump day sucks

Wednesdays are boring
I really should get to cleaning
Fuck that noise, have booze


Election time

Presidential race
Colossal assholes roam free
I am over it

 

(from march 25)


Hummus Challenge…

I am no poet
but I feel a need to write
an ode to hummus.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode (poem)

I still have no idea how to go about an ode. but hummus is delicious.


gritty eyes

reminder to self
+4 allergic to the cats
Wash hands before itch


fusion

Joy of not working
becoming one with my couch
I need cheese and beer


flea bath

soggy cat haiku
wet cats here for affection
fruit fly memory


Greased Librarian

This job is proactive, systematic, hydromatic,
Why it’s librarian lightning…
We’ll get some integrated technologies and excellent facilities, oh yeah…
Keep hiring, whoa keep hiring
tenure track and a long drive, oh yeah…
I’ll get it ready, oh, I’ll be ready
With a Masters on the floor they’ll be knocking down my door
You know that ain’t shit when we’ll be gettin’ lots of tit
(original line, hard to top)
greased librarian
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Based on Greased Lightning


EAT ME PASSWORD TEST.

password frustration
can’t remember try to guess
fail secret question

Rant bubbles in head
laptops stolen from cars but
I’m saved from myself


Can i open a window?

pets, smokers, winter
noxious aromas sealed in
dry heat brings dry heaves


get x-rays

abscess caused no pain
root canal was less than fun
gold crown is shiny